


Forgotten Angel

by Chicfangirl405



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Action/Adventure, Brotherhood, Canon Related, Canon Universe, Complete, Death, F/M, Feels, Friendship, Implied Sexual Content, Memory Loss, Past Relationship(s), Romance, Stabbing, Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-12
Updated: 2018-10-12
Packaged: 2019-07-29 19:29:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,633
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16270835
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chicfangirl405/pseuds/Chicfangirl405
Summary: "How many times have you torn into my head and washed it clean?"Cas's memories have been stolen more than any other angel's. But what if he lost someone in his memories? What if he lost her?





	Forgotten Angel

“Dean?” Castiel called, checking the bathroom. He’d just come back to report that the killings he’d been investigating hadn’t been angels like they thought. It was possible that it was a demon, but it was unlikely, from what he’d been able to find. This was a hotel room, Cas thought, exasperated. How hard could it be to find him?  
“Dean, where are… OH!” He turned from the door he’d just opened, blushing heavily as he slammed it shut. He could hear a muffled laugh, a shuffling sound, and then the door opened, revealing Dean, dressed in only his jeans, his hair ruffled.  
“Learn how to knock, Cas,” he muttered.  
“Sorry, I didn’t realize… I thought you were…” Cas stuttered.  
“Well, you timed it right. Or exactly wrong. Nothing happened yet,” Dean said, smirking a little at his friend’s discomfort.  
“What’s going on?” A woman’s voice called from the room. Dean glanced behind him and held the door open to show a blond woman dressed in a tank top and shorts, her gray eyes surprisingly sharp.  
“Dean, what’s up?”  
“Sorry, this is my friend Cas, who hasn’t learned the meaning of privacy yet,” Dean said meaningfully as Cas stared at his shoes, shuffling uncomfortably. Her eyes widened in surprise.  
“Cas? Castiel?” she asked, her voice shocked. He looked up at her and gasped.  
“It can’t be. Railey?” he breathed softly. “I didn’t think you were real.” Dean looked back and forth between the pair, feeling like he’d been the one to walk in on an intimate moment instead of Cas.  
“Wait, how do you know each other?” Dean asked. Cas obviously knew her and didn’t seem afraid of her, so she seemed safe. Still, it didn’t hurt to be safe, Dean thought as he palmed the angel blade from the stand behind him. Cas could be too naive and trusting sometimes.  
“She was, um…” Cas started before trailing off, looking at her with a lost expression. Railey’s eyes fell, her shoulders slumping.  
“You don’t remember, do you? They wiped you,” she said, her voice breaking with emotion.  
“I’m sorry,” he said earnestly. “I kept seeing these glimpses of you in my head and I didn’t understand who you were. I just thought you were some kind of dream from when I was a human.”  
“You became human?” she asked, confused. He grimaced. He didn’t want to get into all of that with her. For some reason, he wanted her to think well of him.  
“I… Well, it's a long story.”  
“So how do you know him?” Dean interrupted.  
“We were, um…”  
“You two hooked up?” Dean asked, surprise evident in his voice. Railey nodded.  
“I guess you could say it like that.”  
“So what happened between us?” Cas asked.  
“Let me show you,” Railey said. She reached up and gently placed a gentle hand on his cheek. Their eyes lit a brilliant blue as they were thrown back into her memories.

“Come on, Cas!” Railey said, laughing as she pulled a reluctant Cas down a white corridor.  
“What is it? Where are we going?”  
“Just trust me! We’ll have to fly to get there.” Railey spread her shimmering gold wings as Cas spread his raven black ones. She intertwined hers with his for a moment before jumping through the portal to Earth and teleporting, her hand entwined with Cas’s.  
They appeared in a hospital room. No vessels. Just them, shimmering in the air, invisible, unnoticed. In a hospital lay an exhausted woman, her husband by her side, holding a newborn baby wrapped in a white blanket.  
“Look at them, Cas,” Railey said, her voice filled with wonder. “The gift of human life. Isn’t it just so pure?”  
“How can you love them so much?” Cas asked, confused. He was a warrior. How could she find humans to be so valuable? They were weaker than angels, more susceptible to injury. More prone to disobeying orders.  
“Because just look, Cas. Look and feel,” she whispered. He looked at the infant as it wriggled, trying to understand its new surroundings. He looked at the face of the father, who gazed adoringly into the face of his wife, exhibiting a kind of strength in his eyes that Cas didn’t know even existed. It wasn’t one of physical power, but of a courage to take on something new and intimidating. Finally, he looked at the face of the mother, into her blue eyes. They stared at the child with such wonder, like she had never seen anything so beautiful in her life, despite its wrinkly skin and smear of blood across its head. The love was so powerful, almost like a physical force. He could finally see what Railey meant.  
“There’s a kind of beauty in their fallings,” she whispered. “Despite everything that challenges them, they get up. Face each day head on, without fear or despair. They simply try to do their best, even in a world where it is much too easy for anyone to do their worst.”  
“I understand,” Cas whispered. “Who is this family?” He felt some kind of need to protect them after what he had witnessed and felt, and because of how they had helped show him why humanity needed to be protected. Railey smiled knowingly.  
“I know how you feel. I’ve been watching over them for several months now. The mother’s name is Mary Winchester. The father is John. And the child is named Dean.” Cas smiled as he gazed at them.

Cas and Railey gasped as Railey pulled them out of the memory.  
“Hey, you OK, Cas?” Dean asked, holding both of them steady. Cas nodded, though he looked at Dean strangely, trying to reconcile the baby he’d just seen and the man he knew. No wonder they’d always connected so well, Cas thought. He’d known Dean since he was a newborn baby.  
“I’m fine, Dean. Railey, what else happened? What tore us apart? Why can’t I remember you?”  
“Are you sure you want to relive that?” Railey asked gently. “It didn’t end well for either of us.” Cas nodded, the motion brisk and certain.  
“I have to know what happened.” Railey hesitated, but put her hand on his temple and flung them back.

“I was thinking maybe you’d like to join me on guard duty?” Cas asked. His face was much too stern . Railey smiled.  
“Oh, look at you. So romantic,” she teased. Her smile widened as his blush started to spread. “Of course. I just have to check in with recording and update them on the new members of heaven.” She linked her fingers with Cas’s. He laughed when she started to swing their hands dramatically. Suddenly, they both winced, falling to their knees as a piercing scream filled their skulls.  
“What’s going on?” Cas asked, clutching his head. Railey shook her head. She didn’t know anymore than he did. Climbing to her feet, she glanced in a small window in the room they had just passed. She gasped, falling again and curling into the fetal position, whimpering. Cas crawled to her.  
“What did you see? What happened?”  
“Look,” she said through gritted teeth. He stood and looked into the room. An angel was clamped down to a chair, with another one standing over him. A woman. Naomi. How did he know that name? A flurry of memories flew through his mind. A failed mission. A nephilim had been spared. His memories ripped from his mind.  
“They’ve taken our memories,” he gasped. Naomi looked up, her eyes matching his. She’d heard him.  
“Run, Railey, we’ve got to run!” Cas said, grabbing her and pulling her to her feet.  
“I can’t… the memories…” she groaned. He grabbed her shoulders tightly, turning her to look her straight in the eyes.  
“If we don’t go know, they’ll wipe our memories. Our memories together.” Railey gasped.  
“They wouldn’t…”  
“You know they would. Run!” He grabbed her hand, pulling her down a corridor.  
“We have to get to the portal!”  
“You’re not going anywhere.” Cas whirled around to see Naomi behind him, flanked by two guards. He turned to see three more angels in front of them. He drew his angel blade, shielding Railey with his body. Naomi smirked. There was no way he could outfight five angels, especially while he was protecting Railey.  
“Take them.”  
The angels started to circle them like bloodthirsty tigers. Cas tightened his grip on the silver blade, his knuckles turning white.  
“Stop!” Cas turned in surprise to see Railey holding her hands up in surrender.  
“What are you doing?” Cas whispered, his voice low.  
“We have to surrender. Otherwise we'll both die.”  
“But you know what they'll do to us!” Cas said, aghast. The angels grabbed him from behind, yanking him away from her.  
“Railey! No, Railey!” Cas cried, his voice filled with anguish, struggling to get away, but failing.  
“I'm sorry!” she called. “Goodbye.” Two angels gripped her shoulders and the next minute, they were gone, as if they had never been there at all. Naomi turned to Cas, sighing heavily.  
“Again, Castiel?” She asked. “I'll never be done wiping your mind, will I?” She looked to the guards, nodding.  
“No!” Cas screamed, his voice cracking as he was yanked backward, his shoes squeaking on the floor as he tried in vain to stop them. “Please, no! Don't make me forget her!” 

Cas gasped as he was released from the dream.  
“Are you ok?” Railey said gently. Cas absentmindedly touched his cheek, looking at it with surprise when it came back wet.  
“What happened after? To you, to me?” Railey looked away  
“I was locked away with Gadreel for years, until Metatron threw the angels out of heaven. I never found out what happened to you. I had to assume the worst.”  
“I remember.” Cas looked into Railey’s eyes, his eyes heavy. “ They wiped my memory of you. It took them hours to wipe you from my mind.” Railey took his hand, entwining her fingers in his.  
“I'm sorry,” she said simply. “I should have done more.”  
“There's no way you could have done anything else,” he replied, taking a step toward her.  
“How can you say that?” She said, shaking her head. “I gave us up. I caused you so much pain and…”  
“You saved us. They would have killed us if you hadn't,” Cas replied, his voice low and husky. There was barely an inch between them now. “You did the right thing.”  
“Hey!” Railey and Cas turned abruptly at Dean's call, stepping backward. “You guys hearing that?”  
“Angels!” Railey cried, turning to Cas. “We have to go right now!”  
The front door smashed open just as they raced toward it, wooden pieces flying as a boot stepped through. Cas and Railey stiffened as two men and a woman entered.  
“Noah. Cerean, Chrystna,” Cas said, nodding as each angel entered.  
“Castiel,” Noah replied. “You know what we have to do.” Cas shook his head.  
“No. You're not going to lay a hand on her,” Cas said sharply. Noah tilted his head at him, his vessel’s dark hair flopping over his eyes, considering him.  
“You remembered. But it changes nothing. We have our orders.”  
“You don't have to follow every order you're given. You know this is wrong!” Noah sighed.  
“I don't want to hurt you, Castiel,” Noah said as he withdrew an angel blade.”But I have my orders.”  
One of the angels spun, blocking Dean's attempted blow from the back. Chystena raced toward Railey as Noah stalked toward Cas.  
“Brother…” Cas warned. Noah ignored him, stabbing the blade forward. Cas blocked. A slash followed. Noah dodged, tripping Cas and sending him sprawling. He tried to crawl to his feet, but Noah dove, knocking him back to the ground. They wrestled, but Noah got the upper hand, pulling Cas into a headlock.  
“Stop fighting me, Cas. Don’t force my hand,” he panted.  
“Cas!” Railey screamed. Cas had just enough time to look up and see an angel blade pierce her stomach, her eyes widening at the pain.  
“Railey!” he called, his deep eyes filled with horror as her eyes lit up in a blazing white light. Noah groaned behind Cas and he turned just in time to see him fall, a gaping wound in his chest from where Dean had stabbed him. The angel holding Railey dropped her and, seeing Dean and Cas prowling around her, angel blades ready, flew away, leaving Railey lying on a heap on the floor.  
Cas fell by her side, cradling her head.  
“This is wrong,” he murmured. “I just found her. She can’t be gone.” Dean put a comforting hand on his shoulder.  
“I’m sorry, but we’ve got to move. There could be more coming.” Cas shook his head.  
“They did what they came to do.” Cas looked up at Dean with a desperate look in his eyes that worried Dean. “I can bring her back. You and Sam always come back. There has to be a way to bring her back. I’ll… I’ll trade my soul for hers, I’ll travel to hell again, I’ll…”  
“Cas, you know she won’t be in hell, or heaven. She’ll be wherever you angels go when you die. You can’t get to her. Let her go.” Cas looked down at her face, gently closing her eyes. Dean’s heart ached when he saw a tear fall from Cas’s eye. All those memories that she’d restored had only made her fall in love with her again, and then to lose her so soon… it was a type of torture that rivaled Alastair’s methods.  
“Dean,” Cas said. “She helped me to see humans how God wanted us to see you. She taught me that, she helped make me into who I am, and I didn’t even remember her until today. How can I just let that go?”  
“Listen,” Dean started as he crouched next to him. “I know what it’s like to lose people you care about. Lisa, Ben, Jo…” He paused, trying to get his emotions in check as the memories of them flew past. “I’ve lost them all, and more. But you have to keep going. Because they’d want you to get past everything you feel right now.” A moment later, Cas nodded.  
“We’ll take her back to the bunker and we’ll burn her body. You with me?” Dean asked. Cas nodded again, but remained silent. What was there left to say?  
“Come on,” he said as he stood. Cas grabbed Railey’s lifeless body and held her tight in his arms, cradling her with a tenderness that Dean had never seen in him before.  
“Let’s go.”

As they stared into the glowing flames of the fire, Sam put a comforting arm around Cas.  
“You’ll be okay,” he said. Cas shook his head, his eyes reflecting the orange light.  
“No. Because I’ll always remember her. And that will always bring me pain,” he said as he gazed forward steadily. He looked at Sam with a small smile.  
“But that’s okay,” he said. “Because pain shapes us to be who we are.” Cas turned, heading back inside, while Sam and Dean turned to each other.  
“Wow. So now Cas is a wise sensei,” Dean said. Sam rolled his eyes.  
“Come on, Dean. He’s trying to accept whatever it is he’s feeling,” Sam said. Dean nodded as they began heading back to the bunker.  
“I know. I won’t even tease him about it.” Sam whirled around, looking at him incredulously. That didn’t sound like Dean.  
“I’ll just have to tease him about almost having sex with his ex,” Dean finished. Sam rolled his eyes again and picked up his pace to a jog.  
“Hey, come on Sammy, do you have any idea how awkward that realization was?” he called as he ran to catch up with him.


End file.
